Lately I have found myself in a creative rut and have been looking for something to do for myself. I needed to get out of my studio, and try something I haven’t done before. So I posted to social media looking for someone to do yoga on the beach for me to capture. I got several responses, and Shelby was one of the first to respond. We got to talking about why yoga and more specifically doing this yoga photoshoot was so important to her. Read her words about the experience below.
“I recently decided to start doing a form of therapy that has you relive painful traumatic moments and using eye movements it desensitizes you to the event and helps to reprocess those events and feel differently about them. For example I had a situation that previously made me feel like I didn’t deserve family love, I ate too much, I was too energetic and I am ungrateful. After doing a few sessions of this therapy I was able to see that in this specific situation I was actually strong, and I stood up for what I believed because I knew it was the best decision for my life in the long run and I did deserve love from anyone who wanted to give it. I also had to see that not everyone I care about was going to leave. I was so scared of people caring about me that I would sabotage these relationships out of fear that they would abandon me.
While doing this therapy has been so uplifting and encouraging, it’s also about putting it into practice. So while I’ve been feeling down about myself mentally, emotionally and physically I was presented with an opportunity to do a photoshoot at a beach, where I would be doing yoga. I can hands down say that before a little over a month ago this is not something I would have thought about doing at all. I was one of those people who would see other people doing this and think ‘why are you doing that here?!’ but in the mist of my trying to grow as a person I said yes.
Yoga has always been one of my favorite ways to re-center with myself. Yoga is a practice that I was lucky enough to learn a few years ago and instantly fell in love with it. Yoga is spiritual, it is about your relationship with yourself. You have to allow yourself to disconnect from the world and listen and be with yourself and only focus on your breathing. While I have been re-centering with myself I made a commitment that I would do yoga at least once a day. Thankfully, I’ve been able to stick to doing it twice a day!
So, I took the chance, I did the photoshoot and I have to tell you that it was one of the most spiritual things I’ve ever done. Here I was at the beach in the middle of the week, in my yoga shorts and sports bra having my picture taken and not giving a damn what anyone else around me said, or what I would think they are thinking. I would hold my tree pose and all I heard was the waves, all I felt was by heartbeat and slight wind. In these moments I was not only at peace with myself, with who I am, where I am but I also have never felt more beautiful. No make-up, no fancy dress, hair with some dry shampoo and I left amazing. I only focused on being in that exact moment that I was in. I thought about nothing else. I made a promise to show up, take a chance and breathe and I did and it was the push I needed to truly love who I am. I have parked my 737, I’m unloading the baggage and taking flight to a new destination. All the gods, all the heavens, all the hells are within me, and while I will battle with the hells from time to time, I’m choosing the heaven. While I have a few areas that I feel may be a little broken, I’m using those breaks to let the light in. I am a woman, I am beautiful and I am a warrior.”
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